Escort Yourself Out
A downloadable game for Windows
Inspired by escort mission games, Escort Yourself Out asks you to help your childhood self navigate triggering environments. While moving through everyday spaces fraught with triggers, you must take action to care for yourself in order to navigate the situation. It is an autobiographical representation of some of my experiences being mentally ill.
This game discusses some of my experiences being mentally ill and dealing with trauma. Everybody experiences mental illness and deals with trauma differently. This game is meant to be representative of some parts of my experiences, and no one else's. I am not claiming or attempting to represent a universal experience of mental illness and trauma (because there isn't one), but, rather, just one manifestation of these things - my manifestation. Maybe our experiences look totally different, and that's fine. Both our experiences are valid, even if they look nothing alike. This game is also not an attempt to represent the whole of my experiences. It's just showing little parts.
Content warnings: discussion of trauma and triggers, eating disorders, OCD, depression, misophonia, victim-blame and self-blame. Vague mention of a specific childhood trauma (though no details are given, there are several common interpretations, most of which involve abuse of some kind). Representation of eating disorder-, OCD-, misophonia-, and trauma-related triggers.
Please play the game at an aspect ratio of 16x9.
UPDATE 5/21/2023: having issues with the mac build that i cannot currently figure out and have no way to address at the moment! until i'm able to figure it out, i'm going to keep the mac build down entirely - so sorry about that! if you'd like to be notified when the mac build is eventually back up, please dm me on twitter or leave a comment here telling me so and i'll be sure to update you!
Download
Install instructions
Please play at a resolution of 1280 by 720.
Development log
- issues fixed, and thank youJun 11, 2021
- dreamhack 2019 zineJun 07, 2020
Comments
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i rlly wanna play this but my windows computer keeps rejecting it for some reason!
hi! sorry about that - could you tell me what, if any, kind of error message etc comes up when you try to run or open it?
Hello! Any updates on the Mac version of your game? I'm working with a group of young people on autobiographical video games and I'd love to share your project with them. We only have Macs, though.
hey! so sorry, totally blanked on putting up the mac version - i've got to test it out but will try to have it up by the end of the week!!
Amazing! Looking forward to it!
hey, sorry, i'm having some issues with the mac build that i do not currently know how to address and have no real way to test atm, so i'm keeping the mac version down entirely for the time being! so sorry!!
I understand. Is your game playable through browser anywhere? (Thanks your replies, btw.)
unfortunately it's not! was never able to get a browser version working. sorry again! (of course!)
thank you for the experience that is this game. its a wonderful reminder that, while you can't change the past, you can work and try to heal in the present. and that you don't have to be perfect in it because tomorrow is another day. i hope you are closer to where you want to be than ever before.
thank you so much!! i hope the same for you! :)
I made an account just comment on this. Currently dealing with my own ed and this helped a lot, thank you so much
that means a lot to me, thank you so much for playing and for your kind words! wishing you well! <3
That was a very innovative gameplay mechanic. Cool visuals and a very important message for us about empathy. Thank you
I adore the aesthetic style of this game! Are the backgrounds gifs that you imported in and then overlaid UI elements over? I want to try and make something this beautiful.
🤩
oh wow thank you!! :)) hmmmm, if i remember correctly, i think the backgrounds were just pngs, and then for each asset with animation i actually animated it in unity, just uploaded two or three frames and had unity switch between them. it's been a while so i could be wrong, but i belieeeeve that was how i set up those like interactable assets!! and for the text boxes, i did just overlay unity text box elements over the backgrounds, yeah!!
thank you for sharing this piece of yourself with us. i felt so incredibly seen in a way i don't think i have before. it's not your obligation to share your trauma with the sake of others, but i do appreciate what you've chosen to share, and i hope it brought you some relief as well <3
thank you so much, for playing and for your kind words!! that really means a lot to me <3
This is so beautifully done and unfortunately relatable. It also could help people who don't have mental illnesses to understand what it is like in a more concrete manner.
Also, as a PhD student who is too afraid to ask for accommodations, I 100% agree with you concerning your points about academia.
Thank you for such wonderful work!
thank you so much for playing!! <3 i'm sorry you're able to relate to it, and i hope you're able to get your accommodations soon!! can so very much relate to fear of asking for them.
this was really nice to play, especially as someone who has a tendency to blame themselves for everything. the part about academia being awful for mentally ill people really hit, too. it's like a perpetual game of catch-up.
thank you for making this game, and for being so honest in it. i adore your art style, too, it's very unique and endearing. i hope you're doing well. <3
thank you so much for playing and for sharing your thoughts on the game! "perpetual game of catch-up" is exactly how i felt for SO much of my time in school - that's a perfect way to describe it and it is THE WORST!! we are both much more than how caught up we might be at any given point. :) i hope you're doing well, too <3
"I hate that I feel like I have to earn the right to take care of myself."
wow. now i finally have the right words for that feeling. thank you for the game and for reminding me that recovery is an ongoing process. i'm feeling so hopeful for the you who made this game and especially the you now.
Thank you for playing and for your kind words - that really means so much to me. We both deserve to take care of ourselves and that will never not be true! Both the me who made the game and the me now send you best wishes <3
Thanks for making this!
Thank you for playing! <3
Best wishes to you. Thank you for creating this game, it's really helped me help myself when facing similar triggering events. I hope you are truly happy now. <333
Thank you for playing and for your kind words. Best wishes to you, as well! <3
Thank you.
Thank you for playing! <3
Thank you for this.
Thank you for playing! <3
I gotta say this resonated with me so heckin bad, and I love you for it! It's so nice to read another person put my feelings into words, if that makes sense. Especially the whole impostor thing and whether or not to write your trauma online. I don't understand the draw towards publishing one's past, but it has such an incredible pull - like you said, maybe the ability to own our memories. I really hope you're in a good place, and can listen to your own words. As in this hard time, you helped me, I hope you have someone helping you too. You do good for the world in writing about your emotions. Beyond self-doubt, do not doubt that your words won't reach us - because they do. Thank you so much for this.
Those considerations around publishing personal stuff are still things I think about a lot! It can be a really complicated thing. Thank you so much for your kind words - that really means so much. <3
I don't really have a lot to say besides thanks for making this as an experience other people can have to an extent. My heart is with you in your future endeavors! This is a touching experience to have, especially for me, a college student with OCD among other things thats entering my second year of college AND working AND trying to navigate physical disabilities... It's comforting to know that even if it's not a personal connection, someone out there feels similarly to me and is comfortable with sharing that. So thanks, again. <3
Thank you so much for your very kind words - my heart is with you as well! <3
Thank you for creating this game, and thank you for sharing it. I too live with the echoes of trauma that I experienced at around age 12, and playing it gave me a space to reflect on my ongoing(probably life long) recovery and growth into a version of myself that I love.
Thank you for playing, and for sharing your thoughts. I'm sorry you can relate. We'll both get to where we want to be.
thank you so much for making this game <333
Thank you for playing! <3 :)
This game helped me realize that my thinking patterns were not bizarre, or unnatural, but a product of my trauma and triggers. It really helped me feel less alone in the mess that is my brain. Thank you for this. This is really special.
Thank you so much, for playing and for sharing your thoughts! I am so happy it made you feel that way.
I'm glad I was able to be audience to this.
I recognize a few of these thoughts in myself, too.
Thank you for playing! <3
This game is precise and cordial to explaining mental illnesses such as OCD, eating disorders, misophonia, and other conditions. It made relate in how stressful and distressing of going through college and the importance of taking care of yourself. I know how stressed I was to keep up with numerous assignments in many different classes while dealing anxiety and stress at the same time. I hope you feel well soon and congratulations on your graduation!
Thanks so much for playing the game, sharing your thoughts, and sharing your playthrough! It was really interesting to watch you move through it! (And thank you for the congratulations! <3)